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Miller’s Misadventures – Uglacy 2.1

March 9, 2013

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Welcome back! Infancy was quick and somewhat painful, but here’s a little one all growed up. This is Delilah, and if you don’t remember from last time, she grows up to be a Hopeless Romantic, Artistic, Clumsy, a Coach Potato, and Insane.

And here’s Danielle. Danielle will grow up to be Ambitious, Friendly, Evil, Neurotic, and a Genius. She seems messed up enough to be an Uglacy heir.
And, unfortunately, I remember taking a picture of little Dalton but for whatever reason it disappeared. Dalton grows up to be Easily Impressed, Good, a Supernatural Fan, Gatherer, and Mean Spirited.

“Ohmigod! The Sparkle Gods have come for me again! Shiny!”
Lakesha, no, it’s just your birthday-

“Take me, Sparkle Gods! I am not of this world!”
I love Lakesha for her neat trait, but she is so not the brightest bulb in the bunch.

Here’s another obligatory toddler photo. I don’t even know why I bother with trying to potty train any of these kids- it’s friggin’ impossible to do in 3 or 4 sim days. I have yet to do it.
“I have to try to save these poor souls from my potty damnation, don’t you see?”
Pfft. It’s useless, dude.
Note the blondie in the back- that’s Dalton.

“Now, Delilah, since you’re Artistic, I want you to paint pretty pictures like your daddy so you don’t feel so much pain and suffering. Life is hurt, but painting makes it better.”
You mean better in the way so we can get a washer and dryer.
“No! Money is worthless, it just causes more hurt! Art is expression, art is my life, art expresses my hurt and-“
It pays your bills.
“Don’t listen to her- she’s the one who cursed us with potty damnation.”
“Gaaah gaaah!”

Shortly after this, the sparkles begin. Delilah is the first to go.

Not bad! Look at those cheeks!

And the sparkles claim Dalton…

And he looks rather normal looking :/

Now Danielle does the sparkle dance…

And wowza! Coupled with that Evil trait and those cheekbones… It’ll be an Uglacy in personality AND looks!

And above are the children in CAS- Delilah, Danielle, and Dalton, respectively. Danielle is a looker, I’ll tell you what.

And this is pretty much what happened every night in the Miller household- Dalton and Danielle played chess while Delilah lazed around or painted, and Richard painted depressing nuclear winters and other brilliant paintings, which ended up getting sold immediately to fund our legacy mansion in the works. I feel kind of bad that I haven’t saved any of his paintings.
“Oh? You have feelings? That’s surprising.”
Look, I’m sorry that you’re just too damn pretty for this legacy and to slave away over paintings that you never can keep, but mark my words, Richard, I can just as easily put the fear of good ol’ fashioned Sims 2 boolprop in you.
“But that is just legend, that is just a terrible rumor to scare bad little sims-“
Is it, Richard? I would think on that.

Feeling shaken by his sudden grasp on his mortality, he decided to do some legacy-lovin’.
“Oh, Lakesha, I know that your Uglacy love will heal my scars, fill up the bottomless void that is called my heart, and make me whole again.”
“Uhm, okay! Sounds kinky!”
She’s a real prize, Richard.

After Lakesha “filled Richard’s void”, she called the repairman to fix her beloved TV. And proceeded to eat in her underwear.
Way to stay classy, Lakesha. I rest my case.

“The Sparkle God has claimed me!”
Oh no, not you too Dalton.
And yeah yeah, I know that he looks like he has a screwed up nose, but it was all a lie. His face returned to normal after I put him through CAS. Sigh.

“Oh, no, this is it, He has come for me!”
Delilah, seriously, he doesn’t exist…

And wow, do you have the fashion sense.

Danielle looks down. I think she wishes that she was the sparkle god.
“And I would be a vengeful god!”
I’m sure you would, sweetie.

And here are the post CAS pictures of Delilah, Danielle, and Dalton, respectively. I think Danielle is winning the Ugly contest, and Delilah is winning the ho contest, and Dalton is that one pretentious dooche with the sweater and the flip flops.

“Whoo-hoo, yeah Dad! Praise Him!”
This is really getting out of hand, guys.

Here’s the upgraded house- we finally have a washer and a dryer! And this is how most days are- Richard sleeps during the day while Lakesha paints her heart out, and when Lakesha sleeps Richard paints. Hey, Hey, I know that I run a tight ship, but come on, money doesn’t grow on trees! (anymore, anyway…)

Dalton seems to be gettin’ his Uglacy romance AWWHN!
“Hey, uhm, your eyes, and mine, well, like, shooting stars? I like, uh, them. Pretty.”
“Oh, Dalton, you always know what to say!”

She even didn’t mind when Richard decided to fix the dishwasher in the nude. Real classy, Richard.
“Being without clothing is the only freedom I have in this house! Why was I born into servitude??!”
Seriously, Richard walked around in his underwear/in the nude for the rest of his sim life. He ceased to give a single f$#% about life.

And here’s Richard getting claimed by the Sparkle Gods again, in the nude. (my game crashed, gurr)
“That’s what you get from not paying tribute to the Sparkle Gods!”
Right.

And everyone decided they needed to wake up and gather into their parent’s bedroom to watch the Sparkle Gods lay claim to Lakesha’s adulthood. I should really do the whole birthday party thing, but everyone ages on the same day and time is precious. We don’t need no stinkin’ birthdays.

On a side note, here’s the updated version of the house, after we sold a few paintings.

On another side-note, Delilah got her mother’s brains.
“Uhm, hello, how can I get to the sink from here?”
Uh, well, walk a couple of steps, sweetie.

And here are some of the photos from their teenhood, with Danielle gossiping and swapping spit with her boyfriend, the teens diligently working on their skills, and Danielle getting a great view of Dalton’s butt while he makes his moves in front of the TV.

And the sparkles lays claim to youth once again.
And, seriously, Richard is as creepy as Gordon. Watching his daughter be sparkled into adulthood in the nude is a little off.
“It’s called peaceful protest, man!”
Is that what you call it? Well, in my world we call it pedophilia. Weirdo.

Here’s Danielle and Delilah, respectively. I decided to have Delilah’s formal be her casual wear and her casual wear be formal since she’s insane- just made sense that way.
But it looks like they are growing into their ugly, a little bit. Which is sad. I didn’t bother with Dalton because he’s moving away to the house nextdoor- he’s just not Uglacy material.

And off to graduation they go!

After graduation, Danielle had to break the news.
“Okay, like, uhm, dude, you’re a great kisser and everything, but you just aren’t ugly enough. So bye.”
“What?!!?! But I… but I… I took you to the prom!”
“Big whoop. Now get off my property.”
Now time to look for ugly spouses!

Okay, seriously, all of these Townies are genetic gifts from the Sparkle God. None of them were ugly. In fact, the ugliest one was the last guy, and it was just because he was fat!

And so, if you haven’t noticed already, I have decided that Danielle should be the heir. She’s ugly enough, but her personality is the ugliest, and thus she wins.
And so she swoops in on the “ugliest” guy in town.

“I would enjoy seeing your insides fizz like soda… does that turn you on, baby?”

“Or perhaps you would rather want me to lay claim to your body, like Neil Armstrong?”

I’ll take that as a yes.

The beautiful gift of Uglacy Romance aside, that is the last masterpiece Richard ever painted, as his soul was laid claim by the Grim Reaper that day.
And yes, I did sell it. What? We needed a workbench to help fulfill a LTW!

“My old, broken heart! He was right…. life is hurt!!”
Lakesha proceeded to pass out here, get up, and uhm…

Fainted right here, too.

Poor soul loved Richard with all of her heart.

Now back to business…
“Let me show you how a real woman puts the woo in hoo!”

I had them WooHoo a few different times because I didn’t hear a lullaby. I was freaking out to myself, thinking that this guy is sterile or something, but…

Danielle’s regular vomitting quelled my rising panic.

“So, you should be my husband since I bear your child.”
Yeah, and the fact that he has a rich trait!

“No way! You’re family’s too weird. I’ll give that woohoo another shot, though ;)”

“Uhm, well, what about moving in?”
“Do we get to woo hoo more?”
“I guess? But there will be many of my spawn running around here soon and-“
No! Lie! Lie!
“Oh, yeah, so… Yeah! More woohoo!”
“Oh, okay, that sounds good.”
Pffft. Men.

And promptly after, he sparkles into an elder. Just great. When he moved in he gave us about $4,000, and I guess that’s okay, but he’s unemployed and has no skills whatsoever. You are only here for your ugliness, pal! Expect to cook and clean until the Grim Reaper claims your soul.

After he moved in, I had Dalton move out with his Fiance. Go enjoy your normal un-Uglacy life.
“Let’s get out of here as soon as possible…”


And Delilah was touched by the Sparkle God (shortly after being shocked by trying to upgrade a stereo)

And Danielle, full of babies (she was in front of that couch watching kids TV nearly the whole time with kids music playing), is going into labor.
“Oh god! I’m too old for this!”
You’re telling me.

Well, that’s it for this chapter! Stay tuned to see the next generation of Uglies!

Previous (1.1 & 2.0) | Current (2.1) | Next (3.0)

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